Crossing Roads

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I stood still under the rain. Hesitant, unable to take another step forward, unable to cross the road. I continued to stare at the other side of the road. It was a simple task wasn't it? 10 steps was all it took to get across to the other side of the road. What was stopping me?

I looked up to the sky and the rain hit my face. Was it the rain that was stopping me? I had gone out without an umbrella so naturally, I had to go home without one. I continued to stare at the rain, as if my staring could stop the rain somehow - how naive. I took my hands out from my pocket and tried shaped my hands into a cup, trying to fill it up with rainwater - how futile. Surprisingly though, I did manage to capture a significant amount and it made me smile. Such a simple thing to have made me smile. Were thing always this simple?

I opened up my hand and watched as the water went through my fingers. Somehow, I was feeling more alive than usual. I was always living and breathing but something was different, my senses were heightened. I wanted to experience more of the rain and so I took of my hood, letting the soft rain fall upon me. I was smiling now, giggling to myself. If I was another passer-by, I would have thought myself to be crazy as well. A young girl smiling and giggling to herself in the rain - how insane, how natural it all seemed - how natural it all came to me. When was the last I felt this contented?

I continued to laugh to myself till my face was wet, as if I had cried but I hadn't. Even if I did, it would have been tears of joy. I looked across now, 10 steps was all it took. I looked right and left, left and right, making sure that there were no cars. True enough, there weren't. Even if there were, I would have waited for the cars to pass but the need to cross would still be there. In the end, I would still have to cross that road.

Smiling again, I plucked up my courage and began my 10 steps.

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It's a simple thing really. It's scary sometimes to make a decision, to cross or not to cross but it is necessary. If I had stayed on my side of the road forever, the fact that I would eventually have to cross the road would still be there. It would never go away. Some decisions we make are necessary and evident. How long can you run away?

Rather than let yourself be overwhelmed by the need to make a decision, let yourself have some time to make the decision. Don't be so fixated on making the decision that you forget why you need to in the first place. 

There are many things we should learn to appreciate in life but we often don't - we often wait for regret. We wait to put the blame on another, we let ourselves drown in misery, in self-pity. Why do we do that? Why not let yourself enjoy being yourself? 

10 steps may seem a small amount but each step counts, each step helps. 

Have a good day :)

Tasha Lim