The Reason for My Existence
One of the many great wonders about having a semester break is being able to watch all the shows you have restricted yourself from watching during your study period - at least not the series. I still have my fair share of cinema movies because that's a form of escape for me. Nevertheless, I have stumbled upon some great Korean Dramas this time. I know, 'What's so great about them? You don't understand their language and they're always crying.' However, I beg to differ. There are many reasons why I watch Korean Dramas and one of them is because it has a good plot and great acting. Of course there are some that are not worth your time but there are also some that definitely deserves your time. It is the same thing when it comes to anime or any series for that matter.
However, that is not the point of my writing.
This new drama that I am watching is titled 'W - Two Worlds'. (Picture Source)
The first thing that peaked my interest was the fact that it had combined the real world with a cartoon world and better, the cartoonist knows about it and tries to destroy it. I won't go on and spoil the series for you but I will say this, the main character questions the reason for his existence.
That is something I think we occasionally question. For me, the questions pops up as often as someone asking me why I am still single. For me, my life revolves around it at times. Some days I feel like I have the answer and then I go on my merry way but there are also days where I just get so depressed exploring this issue that I just want to sleep.
You see, we must have a reason for living yes? What is our purpose here?
Unlike any of the stories or movies that we watch, our lives will never be as such. None of us can be 'The Boy Who Lived' from Harry Potter - though I would much rather be Hermoine,
nor can we swing lightsabers as per any of the Jedis' in Star Wars.
This is something which sometimes pisses me off. I know, wishful thinking.
Again, why do we live?
It is because we can never ever find the real reason, we let ourselves believe in what we think we are allowed to. Some of us live to eat, some of us live for others, some of us live simply because we are not dead. Of course, not all are mundane. Some really do live for a more.. purposeful purpose in a way. Some live to be rich, to be powerful, to kill or avenge someone and so on. In that sense, yes we are similar to that of a story.
But why?
I am also reading a book 'Eat, Pray, Love' - finally. It is so good of a book that I take so much time reading it than the usual - for fear of finishing a good book too soon. I used to be one of those readers who would read a book as fast as I could to know the whole plot but I realized that that wasn't reading, that was simply scanning through. To enjoy a book, you would have to thoroughly read through the lines and pages because each word was carefully chosen by the writer. As such, it requires your time to appreciate it.
Anyway, the author who is also the main character of the book writes in the first part about how she began her journey. I love her writing style by the way. She talks of how her life hadn't been how she expected it and she was wondering what she was doing here, in general. For me, my translation would be, what the hell am I supposed to be doing on planet Earth?! Since I am still on the first part, and have just wrapped it up this afternoon, it was fulfilling to read that she had truly enjoyed her stay in Italy. She had fought with depression and all the negative thoughts that surrounded her but by the end of her 4 month stay in Italy, she says that while she might not know what her life's purpose is as of now, she did however fulfill the goal of living life to the fullest while in Italy. That is how I conclude it personally. I might need to reread in case I have misled you.
In any case, I would have to agree with her. After being through some of the crappiest moments of my life, as well as the best, I would say to live as you will. I don't think I will ever find an envelope with a letter written to me that says, 'Dear Tasha, I am so sorry this letter of Hogwarts has been delayed for a decade but...' nor will I have one that says 'Dear Tasha, you were born to be... a lawyer'. I'm sorry, personal joke. But anyway, I won't be getting any directives soon of what I am supposed to be in life.
However, what I can do, is to live doing what I want to do, to eat what I want to eat and to watch what I want to watch. Learn Italian just because it sounds beautiful like Elizabeth (author of Eat, Pray, Love fyi), Cook random stuff in the kitchen just because I have a kitchen now and I have been reading this manga about cooking and so on. I just want to do what I want to do, to make myself happy. A friend recently said this to me, 'If your actions aren't hurting anyone, I don't see why you shouldn't continue.' And it hit me, why have I always been so concerned of what others feel and think or how they view me . It was and has always been so... restrictive.
Of course, I am not saying to go crazy and start participating in your The Purge but have harmless fun. Learn today and not tomorrow. Confess today and not wait another day. Hug someone before it's too late or because you love them and need one too.
If you don't have a definitive reason to exist, then let yourself - you being alive, be the reason for your existence.
Love,
Tasha Lim
However, that is not the point of my writing.
This new drama that I am watching is titled 'W - Two Worlds'. (Picture Source)The first thing that peaked my interest was the fact that it had combined the real world with a cartoon world and better, the cartoonist knows about it and tries to destroy it. I won't go on and spoil the series for you but I will say this, the main character questions the reason for his existence.
That is something I think we occasionally question. For me, the questions pops up as often as someone asking me why I am still single. For me, my life revolves around it at times. Some days I feel like I have the answer and then I go on my merry way but there are also days where I just get so depressed exploring this issue that I just want to sleep.
You see, we must have a reason for living yes? What is our purpose here?
Unlike any of the stories or movies that we watch, our lives will never be as such. None of us can be 'The Boy Who Lived' from Harry Potter - though I would much rather be Hermoine,
Again, why do we live?
It is because we can never ever find the real reason, we let ourselves believe in what we think we are allowed to. Some of us live to eat, some of us live for others, some of us live simply because we are not dead. Of course, not all are mundane. Some really do live for a more.. purposeful purpose in a way. Some live to be rich, to be powerful, to kill or avenge someone and so on. In that sense, yes we are similar to that of a story.
But why?
I am also reading a book 'Eat, Pray, Love' - finally. It is so good of a book that I take so much time reading it than the usual - for fear of finishing a good book too soon. I used to be one of those readers who would read a book as fast as I could to know the whole plot but I realized that that wasn't reading, that was simply scanning through. To enjoy a book, you would have to thoroughly read through the lines and pages because each word was carefully chosen by the writer. As such, it requires your time to appreciate it.
Anyway, the author who is also the main character of the book writes in the first part about how she began her journey. I love her writing style by the way. She talks of how her life hadn't been how she expected it and she was wondering what she was doing here, in general. For me, my translation would be, what the hell am I supposed to be doing on planet Earth?! Since I am still on the first part, and have just wrapped it up this afternoon, it was fulfilling to read that she had truly enjoyed her stay in Italy. She had fought with depression and all the negative thoughts that surrounded her but by the end of her 4 month stay in Italy, she says that while she might not know what her life's purpose is as of now, she did however fulfill the goal of living life to the fullest while in Italy. That is how I conclude it personally. I might need to reread in case I have misled you.
In any case, I would have to agree with her. After being through some of the crappiest moments of my life, as well as the best, I would say to live as you will. I don't think I will ever find an envelope with a letter written to me that says, 'Dear Tasha, I am so sorry this letter of Hogwarts has been delayed for a decade but...' nor will I have one that says 'Dear Tasha, you were born to be... a lawyer'. I'm sorry, personal joke. But anyway, I won't be getting any directives soon of what I am supposed to be in life.
However, what I can do, is to live doing what I want to do, to eat what I want to eat and to watch what I want to watch. Learn Italian just because it sounds beautiful like Elizabeth (author of Eat, Pray, Love fyi), Cook random stuff in the kitchen just because I have a kitchen now and I have been reading this manga about cooking and so on. I just want to do what I want to do, to make myself happy. A friend recently said this to me, 'If your actions aren't hurting anyone, I don't see why you shouldn't continue.' And it hit me, why have I always been so concerned of what others feel and think or how they view me . It was and has always been so... restrictive.
Of course, I am not saying to go crazy and start participating in your The Purge but have harmless fun. Learn today and not tomorrow. Confess today and not wait another day. Hug someone before it's too late or because you love them and need one too.
If you don't have a definitive reason to exist, then let yourself - you being alive, be the reason for your existence.
Love,
Tasha Lim
Its interesting that you write this, well at least to me because I was thinking of what kind of future I would want, and what I'd have to give up for that future and if it was worth it. Honestly, I have many doubts, but I choose to follow that path as close as I could and make adjustments on the way. I mean things could change and paths diverge but then again, its the journey that matters. Life is most probably a road that will take you to places, sometimes with signboards, often times without. We just have to make it as interesting and as enjoyable as possible without losing too many things along the way and hope that things work out for the best.
ReplyDeleteIt's a nice surprise to see a comment ahaha but thank you for reading :) I think we all have those doubts though - about our very own lives. But I think we can only continue to keep doing what we are doing - at least do things that you enjoy and if you see an opportunity worth taking, take it. You'll never know how the other decisions you make will help shape your future
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