You're Not A Leader, You're Just A Boss

There has been countless times where I've heard people complain about another person's leadership. Criticizing how they just aren't a leader. And at the same time, I've also heard how those leaders complain about how their members just aren't listening to them. So why is that?

The truth is, you're probably just not a leader.

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Here's a word of warning though, I don't mean to say that if someone can never be a leader, nor is it wholly the leader's fault for failing to lead the team. There are a few variables to look at, for example, Who are the team members? What are the personalities of the team members? What are the current circumstances surrounding the situation?

The thing is, rather than blaming your members for their failure to adhere to simple instructions or coming for any meetings, you have to ask yourself - what is wrong? This is what a leader does. The former of blaming is an act of a boss.

So what's the difference between a boss and a leader?

If I had to put it in simple words, it's really easy.

A boss makes you hesitant or reluctant to work with him/her (Shim).

A leader makes you excited to work with Shim.

I'm pretty sure you have seen all kinds of memes or articles that tell you about the differences but they are undeniably the truth.

I've been in a couple of different teams for different events but it is evident from the very first day, if your Director is a person who deserves your respect. Your Director is the person who will determine the first 50% of the success of the team. Why do I say so?

Because the Director has to not only lead the team but to learn to blend in with the team.

To be a team means that everyone has to be a team player. 

Before you are a leader, you are a part of the team.

No matter what position you get, you are just like the rest. 

If anything, you probably have the most work to do.

Here's one of my favourite infograph about the differences.

It's pretty simple isn't it?

And you're probably thinking to yourself that you are on the right side of the chart.

But let's be honest, some people have just not been attending your meetings, even if they do, they don't look happy. So why is that so?

Rather than complain and whine to someone, discuss the situation with someone.

Discuss with a former Director or another Director. A leader is never afraid to ask questions so as to better the team. Again, the priority is the team and not the goal. If you have to lead a team, you have to be able to get everyone together first.

Never have the mindset of those to be "under" you and thus, should listen to you. No one has to listen to anyone. Just because you are in the same team does not mean you have the same mindset; just because they are in a team with you does not mean you use them for your benefit. Never use a person. Instead, you develop their skills, you develop their potential to be the best version of themselves.

If you yourself are afraid of leading, then why take the position in the first place?
You have to be brave enough to take the fall when it happens yet also be the first to charge head on!

The most important thing is to gain the respect of your colleagues.
You can't demand respect out of any person. You can only earn it.
And that does not mean you push your authority in front of someone.

The truth is, it is how you carry yourself out. How you are as a person.

Would you have more respect to someone who greets the cleaner on your floor or the person who ignores them?

Would you listen to a person who commands and orders? Or would you listen to someone who talks to you respectably as another human being?

Rather than demand respect, earn it one step at a time.

Be a fellow colleague.

Be helpful.

Be respectful to others.

And if you really want people to enjoy their meetings, to work enthusiastically, lead them and guide them. Never order people around.

I don't deny that there are people who truly hard to work with and there are members who simply won't listen. That is when you have to make the judgment of letting them go. Sometimes to be the bad guy, to remove a burden for the greater good is the right thing to do.

As you become a leader, you must remember that the goal is not the only thing that is important. 

It is the team that will determine an event's success.

And even if the event fails, you would have gotten a whole bunch of memories as well as friends who have worked with you and enjoyed working with you.

Love,
Tasha G Lim